Celebrity Masterchef

Aah, the dreaded C word. No, not that one, -this one is is much worse, and fills me with all sorts of dread. Yes, it's "celebrity" This usually means someone I've never heard of (generally because they once exposed their arse on Big Brother or someother equally highbrow endeavour) will be making a fool of themselves to no-ones  amusement whatsoever.

Last night saw the season debut of Celebrity Masterchef complete with shouty presenters, John Torode, an Aussie chef who looks like he needs an iron and a man right at the top end of my personal shit list, bellicose slaphead Gregg Wallace-who's qualified to comment on other peoples food because he once had a fruit and veg firm apparently. Sounds reasonable.
So far it's exactly as it's always been, but here come the "celebrities" Hmmm. Don't know him. Or him. Or her. It's not going well.  Ahaha! I know her, It's Tessa Sanderson, she was famous for throwing a pointy stick about 30 years ago. I don't recognise anyone else.

COOKING DOESN'T GET TOUGHER THAN THIS! Bellows Gregg, sounding like a freshly wounded moose and looking as if he might explode - he doesn't, sadly. John nods sagely, still looking as if he needs ironing.

The "celebrities" can't cook, obviously -one attempts to make a roux using cornflour which lends it the consistency of concrete- another of the unknowns admits he only started cooking a fortnight ago. This is going to go well then.

I really don't get the point of this version of masterchef -we're watching people we don't know who can't cook, why?


"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!