Stuff that pops into my head. Innit.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Everton v Man Utd

Today is our first big match of the season and given the.....erm......extra curricular activities young Wayne has been hitting the headlines for and his subsequent plea for privacy, I'm hoping his mind won't be fully on the task at hand.
On the off chance that he's reading this, I'd like to show you all (and you Wazza) how I see his future life and career panning out.

2011 - My dog bites Wayne. I’m awarded compensation, Chi undergoes therapy
2012 - Transfers to the newly wealthy Leyton Orient "Working with manager, Haitian President and Deputy Pope Wyclef Jean was too much to ignore" tweets divorcee Rooney.
2013 - Photographed in swimming pool full of Tia Maria by News of the World
2014 - Finds God, transfers to Celtic, Rangers win title. England are beaten by the EU in World Cup quarters.
2015 - Finds different God, transfers to Rangers. Celtic win title. Offends 99.3% of world population with fashionable but obscene forehead tattoo of Picasso's Guernica.
2016 - retires to run gentleman's estalishment in Wycombe. Colleen Rooney-Ferguson appointed first female manager of Manchester United.
2017 - Manchester United go into receivership. Old Trafford burns to the ground following a freak scrambled egg accident.

And to think some people think I'm bitter.

"The horror, the horror"


Mrs Midnite said...

Foot.....ball I am aware of this but it has no impact on my life.

Cute doggy though :0)

fizzee rascal said...

Fair enough - it doesn't actually have any effect on me either.

Amber said...

Your vicious people eating dog scares me.

I can see the hate in her eyes.


fizzee rascal said...

If you look at her, she'll kill you.

Anonymous said...

2012 - We'll all die...

fizzee rascal said...

Fuck off eh?

Mrs Midnite said...

Fizzie my wee asbo dogs would have your cute doggy shaking in her tweed handbag. She might be tough but she just couldn't compete with the anti social ones!

fizzee rascal said...

She's no match for your pair of killers Midnite.