Sorry, I digress. Watching the TV earlier an ad caught my attention - it was for a magazine in 572 (or some other unfeasibly large amount) parts......building into a fine collection......first one £2.99......all the others £7.99.......you know the type, they're usually for awful crockery or the Marie Celeste, that sort of thing -
"You too could own a scale replica of the titanic in only 824 weeks!"
Yeah, sure, and it'd only cost me £4,000.
Anyway, the thing that made me pay attention this time was that it was for the old TV series Bonanza. Yes, the same Bonaza that has been repeated to death on every two-bit satellite channel forever.
Who, I should like to know, is spending £7..99 a week on the part work offering "three full episodes of the TV show Bonanza on DVD, and a companion guide"? And why would you need a companion guide? I seem to remember the show, which ran from 1959 to 1973, as a fairly routine soap opera, which could easily be followed without guidance, even if I mainly viewed it through the wrong side of a balaclava while humming Sweet's latest toe-tapper. Maybe I missed the finer points of the show.
Bonanza was chiefly famous for its theme tune which went "dum da da dum da da dum dum Bonanza" - a sound now exclusive to small engined Korean cars-, and for the fact that, for unspecified reasons, they used to set fire to a map at the start of the show.
It starred Lorne Green, -who went on to star in the original Battlestar Galactica- an actor with a dark brown voice and a silvery grey toupée, as the patriarch of the Ponderosa Ranch, a widower living with his three sons; one obese, a handsome one always dressed in black, and another I have forgotten.
Each week one of them would get into some sort of scrape, but the family would rally round proving that a good, wholesome American family could defeat any kind of evil (code for communism I suspect, although I missed that at the time).
My parents enjoyed the show, ignoring my innuendoes about the boys, who were often to be found in the proximity of pretty girls with pinched waists and neat bosoms, but, like Liberace and Benny Hill, could "never find the right woman to settle down with".
Hmm, I wonder why.
Dum da da dum da da dum dum