Music Time

Everton v Tottingham

I'm slightly wary of our trip to White Hart Lane given our capitulation in Lisbon on thursday, Spurs are inconsistent but capable of giving anyone a spanking on their day (see Wigan) I'll take a draw right now.

A Gretsch White Falcon

I really want one of these (the Guitar)

Colin Murray

Everton. Everton. EverTon. C'mon Colin, say that "T" you can do it. Just once, go on, everyone's behind you......What's that? You can't do it? Cund.

Here's Colin, mispronouncing something amazingly simple, yesderday

 

Sporting Lesbian 3-0 Everton.

I can live with defeat, I really can - but this was a shocking performance. No-one played well, Howard was blameless for the goals and Baines was alright but the rest ranged from appalling to disgraceful. Except Senderos and Bilyaletdinov who were both appallingly disgraceful. Senderos was like a bumper car made flesh running (slowly) about seeing what he could knock over, the Russian on the other hand.....well, we know he has talent, we've seen enough flashes of it to know that he at least isn't totally unfamiliar with the round leathery object in front of him (no, don't worry, Steve Watson hasn't made a comeback).
Diniyar just wasn't interested, and that's the biggest sin any pro can make-at least Senderos has the excuse of being crap.

Juvenile sniggering corner

Beat the Devil's Tattoo

So I'm sitting here in what the Daily Mail would call "Terrorist Ice Hell" and I'm doing my daily jaunt round my preferred webshites when I suddenly notice that one of my favourite bands, the Black Rebel Motorcycle club have a new album out. So, I immediately buy the album and start to listen excitedly. On first impressions it's not a massive departure from their earlier releases (but that's hardly a bad thing - I'd have been surprised if this was a Machine Head soundalike disc) and it won't do much to win them new fans, but to my ears, this is a really good album. A solid 8/10.


Here's a sample.

The weather.

Global warming........ooh, terrible.....Climate change.....the ice caps are melting you know......the polar bears won't have anywhere to go soon.

So, as I sit here trying to increase my carbon footprint (don't ask!) I'm looking out the window and what can I see? Snow. Lots and lots of snow-a veritable blizzard. I can't see the hill less than a mile away it's so bad and it's barely been above freezing since, well, I don't know when actually...last year sometime I guess......Polar bears?I have a solution. Bring them here. It's cold, there'll be plenty to eat...Sure, a few deaths might occur-but at least we'll be saving the bears, after all, they're the important things, right?

British Tv

A bugbear of mine, yes - but there is a shining light amongst all the rubbish, namely Harry Hill and more specifically his saturday evening show, TV Burp. This is so out of character for ITV (the channel that broadcasts it here is more usually found showing "Britain's Dirtiest Toilets 53" or something equally intellectual) but this stuff-nominally a review of the weeks tv-is bordering on the surreal. It's the only show currently on the box that I can guarantee will always make me laugh out loud. Anyway, I can't describe it well enough, here's a clip

Things I love.

I've just become a grandfather! And here she is, the very lovely Hope.

More things I want

A really nice Damascus bladed knife from Kyocera available from http://fantes.com

Reality Tv

Big Brother, X Factor, Got to Dance, Strictly Come Dancing, I'm a Non-entity, Let me in there to revive my flagging Career and lots of others.
Has there ever been a more moronic concept than Reality Tv? Well, no, there hasn't.

Want to watch some people you don't know fast asleep? Erm, no. No I don't
Want to watch some strangely haired fool murder a song you used to like? I'll pass, thanks.
How about watching a regional newsreader eat a bug? Err, no-it clashes with the All-England wall painting Championships. Maybe next time.
Feel like a look at a boxer trying ballroom dancing? Are you taking the piss?

Britains Got Talent? Not on this evidence it hasn't. Not unless you count lowest common denominator shit as a talent.

Everton v Man u.

We won! Everton 3-1 Man Utd.

Our first league win over them since 2005, good game too.
Everyone played well, -even our comedy centre half, Sylvia Dustbin wasn't too bad- and young Jack Rodwell came off the bench to score against his future employers.

Everton v Man u.

In a little under 3 hours the blue boys face off against one of our fiercest rivals and a certain Mr. W. Rooney. "Wazza" has been playing quite well of late -although nowhere near the level that the near orgasmic Sky commentators would have you believe- but so have we. I reckon it'll be a draw.

Song of the day

Test

I'm testing a new font that only paedophiles can read. How's it working so far?

Dear Nodar Kumaritashvili,

Have you been injured in an accident at work that wasn't your fault? 

Unfortunate name corner

http://www.enics.com/g3.cms/s_page/52140/s_name/locationchinabeijingmanagementteam

About halfway down

Todays Tune

More things I want

Courtesy of one of my favourite websites, http://www.thecoolist.com -I've just seem these stunning clear acrylic lamps by Dutch artist Sander Mulder. Wonderful.

 

  

  

More here http://www.thecoolist.com/sander-mulder-clear-acrylic-lamps/sander-mulder-clear-acrylic-lamps_1/

Things I want.

The start of another probably long running series -although I doubt it'll be as big as the things I hate series- things that, given an unlimited budget, I might spend a few quid on.

First up, a car-the quite beautiful Maserati Quattroporte

Things I hate

In the first of a new series of about eight billion parts, I give you-and you're welcome to him, Jamie "fucking" Redknapp. I hate him. I mean it. You're sitting there going " C'mon Fizzee, you don't really hate him, you just don't like him much, right?" Well.....no. I hate his face. I hate his voice. I hate his hair. I hate the fact that he always seems to be wearing the same suit when he does the football on a sunday afternoon. I hate that he does the football on a sunday afternoon. I hate his wife. I hate that Thomas Cook ad they both did. I hate his old man. And his Uncle. And his cousin. If he has a dog, I hate that too.

I hate him.

Song of the day

The brit awards

I caught about 10 minutes (if that) of this last night, I knew it was going to be terrible -it always is- (hey, I remember Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood presenting) but I came in at the part wher they were giving the gong for best British band, and Kasabian won. Hang on I thought, they're quite good-Are you sure you've done this right? But no, they really had won. Great.
Then Peter Kay wobbles on and he is the unfunniest cunt in the Western Hemisphere-yes including Lee Evans-How did this guy get a gig as a comedian? Funnier stuff has come out of my arse.

Football. Again.

We won. I think they were almost as shocked as I am.
We (Distin) nearly managed to fuck it up at the end though, but 2-1 is ok to go into the away leg with.

Song of the day

Football

Yes, I know all the hype is about Beckhams return to the "theatre of never, ever getting a penalty" but also happening tonight, my beloved Everton take on Sporting Lisbon at Goodison, and I'm fearing for the worst a bit. Sporting aren't great, and they're on a bad run at the mo, but....after our last encounter with a Portuguese team........well, you know.

Glee

Fuck off. Go on, off you go.

Albums to look forward to

Well, the Deftones have promised us a new disc, and they're always good.
Josh Homme is meant to be doing a new Desert Sessions thing with Stone Gossard, Mike Patton and the usual crew-if he can't get Patton into the Desert-He hates the desert apparently.
The Gorillaz also have something new out, (next month I think) called Plastic Beach, which hopefully will be as good as their previous efforts
The Cancer Bats are due to drop a new one as well-and Hail Destroyer was maybe my favourite album of 2008, so I'm really looking forward to that one

Anyone looking forward to anything else?